Why Does God Feel Distant?

Theological and Practical Meditations

Image taken from Poor Bishop Hooper’s EveryPsalm project, particularly their design for Psalms of Lament.

---

I’ve decided to put to my blog an answer I’ve given to someone struggling with distance from God, particularly regarding unanswered prayer—a “wall of separation” between God and them; so this blog post is taken directly from my answer to that question, with a few modifications since longer meditation on this question. So then, picture this scenario—something all too often faced within the Christian life—you feel distant from God. It’s as if God is hiding His face from you, that your prayers go unanswered, that you cry out to Him and hear… nothing, you feel… nothing. Perhaps you think that God must have forgotten you, that He no longer loves you, that He has grown tired of you; perhaps it leads you to consider the thought that there isn’t a God, if there was, why would He let you continue in suffering? Maybe you reflect on times in your Christian life when you felt closer to God, where you grew by leaps and bounds and filled with joy as the Spirit guided your every step. Maybe, my reader, this describes you right now, or perhaps it has described you in the past, or perhaps it will describe you in the future. Whatever it is, as Christians, equipping ourselves with the Word of God, we must know how to wrestle with these feelings and emotions to resist the lies of the enemy. That wretched serpent whispers in your ears, “Surely, God has forgotten you, why not turn away from Him? There is nothing redeemable in you, He loves others, but not you; so why not come into my embrace?” So then, where is the comfort for the Christian?

Let us begin with the comfort that you are by no means the first one to experience such afflictions. God’s blessed Word is the only text to so accurately understand and empathize with all facets of human experience as they seek to live in accordance with God’s Law. David so aptly puts it in Psalm 13, saying:

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

    How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I take counsel in my soul

    and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;

    light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,

lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”

    lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

Psalm 13:1-4, ESV

Was not David the man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14, Acts 13:22)? Yet even David felt alienation from God. Moreover, not only has David faced it, but the Lord Himself did, crying out from the cross, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” directly quoting from Psalm 22. As Paul notes, the Son of God assumed a Human Nature that, “he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted” (Hebrews 2:17-18). Christ, our Great High Priest, took on flesh and dwelt among us that He might be able to be our Help, He sympathizes with us and truly felt separation from God on the cross insofar as Divine Wrath was poured out on Him as He was made a curse for us. So, we may take comfort in knowing that in times of feeling forsaken, we are not alone in feeling this—rather it is a common part of the Christian journey.

Secondly, we can take comfort in our assurance that God has not forgotten us, which we can know objectively. Look no further than the cross, as it is written, "God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). We have a piece of objective evidence that God does remember us, that God kept us in mind, and that is the cross. So anytime you feel as though God has forgotten you, that there is a wall of separation between you and the Lord, remember what the Lord did for you. There was a wall of separation between you and the Lord, but the Lord broke it down. Something revolutionary happened at the Incarnation of the Son of God, God, in the fulfillment of the Covenant of Redemption, broke down all barriers between man and God by taking on flesh and dwelling among us. Living the life that we should've lived, dying the death we should've died, and being raised from the dead to showcase triumph over death. Remember what happened at the death of our Lord, "And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit. And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And the earth shook, and the rocks were split" (Matthew 27:50-51). The veil of the temple was torn in two; the veil which separated the Holy of Holies from the rest of the Temple broke apart signifying the removal of the barrier between God and humanity. The tearing of the veil symbolizes that the way to God is now open to all people, not just to the high priest.

Furthermore, we can take comfort in the Doctrines of God and who He is. God is not a creature, rather, He is the Creator. His Attributes are not parts of Him, rather, all that is in God is God. Attributes such as Love, Mercy, and Justice are not parts of Him that compose Him, they cannot lessen or grow based on anything, rather they are who He is; God does not have love, rather He is Love, He is Mercy, He is Justice. This is the Doctrine known as Divine Simplicity, the notion that God is who He is (Exodus 3:14). There is no shadow of change in God (James 1:17); He is not a man that He lies (Numbers 23:19). God is impassible or, without Passions, He doesn’t experience emotional change as He does not change. His Love is contingent on nothing, it is not as if He is man that one day His Love waxes and another day His Love wanes. To suggest that His Love changes is to suggest that He changes, but He does not change. If you are His Sheep, He has loved you from eternity past, He chose you from eternity past (Ephesians 1:4). He died for you when you were His enemy, How much more will His Love abound when He looks upon you and sees the Imputed Righteousness of Christ and the Holy Spirit dwelling in you? So never heed the Serpent’s cry, rather, as David cries out at the end of Psalm 13, exclaim:

But I have trusted in your steadfast love;

    my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord,

    because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Psalm 13:5-6, ESV

Who is God but whom He reveals Himself to be? As God passed before Moses, God declared, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children's children, to the third and the fourth generation” (Exodus 34:6-7). This is who the Lord is, and so the Christian may take comfort in the Divine Nature.

What of unanswered prayer? Does the Lord not say “ask and you shall receive”? But, maybe for a long season, you haven’t heard anything from the Lord. First, it is important to remember that all prayer is answered. Sometimes, the answer is just no. Other times, the answer may be a clear yes. But then there is what happens most of the time, in which the Lord answers in His way, and as it is written, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9). God is the Sovereign Lord above all whose ways are greater than our own, who can understand it? While it may seem that God is not answering our prayer, we have no idea what God is working in the background. Think of the example of Abraham for instance, while in Genesis all of our stories about him are right next to each other in the book and so it may be easy to think that these stories happen close to each other, you'll find that within the narrative there are gaps of decades-long where there is just nothing special or unique happening in the life of Abraham. God had promised Abraham a son and yet it wasn't for decades that son was born. God promised Abraham the promised the Land for His children but it wasn't for centuries that His children could inhabit it. We know that God is faithful, and we can be assured that God is working in us and our lives, as it is written, "God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?" (Numbers 23:19).

A final consideration I would like to raise before moving to practical applications is the cause of distress in the Christian life. The 1689 notes, “True believers may have the assurance of their salvation divers ways shaken, diminished, and intermitted; as by negligence in preserving of it, by falling into some special sin which wounds the conscience and grieves the Spirit; by some sudden or vehement temptation, by God's withdrawing the light of his countenance, and suffering even such as fear him to walk in darkness and to have no light, yet are they never destitute of the seed of God and life of faith, that love of Christ and the brethren, that sincerity of heart and conscience of duty out of which, by the operation of the Spirit, this assurance may in due time be revived, and by the which, in the meantime, they are preserved from utter despair” (1689, 18.4). Many Learned Men, such as St. Owen, St. Colquhoun, St. Gill, St. Watson, St. Edwards, etc., are unanimous in their testimony that though the Law no longer serves as a condemning power for those under the Covenant of Grace, yet it serves now as the rule/guide for Christian believers. As a result, when we fail to uphold the law, God may, for a time, “withdraw the light of His countenance,” or, let us fall into a state of discomfort and distress. David attributes his distress to his sin (Psalm 38), similarly, throughout our lives, if we ever find ourselves falling into a period of seeming abandonment of God, it is likely due to sin in our lives which shakes our peace and sense of assurance. But know that this distress is not condemnation, Christ already bore your condemnation. If you are in the Covenant of Grace, this distress from the law is rather chastening, or, rebuke/temporal punishment that is meant to bring us to repentance, to draw us back to God. God gives us up to these periods so that we may come back to Him after backsliding into sin.

So then, with these considerations in mind that (1) we are not alone in feeling distant from God, (2) God has already objectively given us evidence of His Love through the cross, (3) the veracity of God’s promises rooted in who He is, (4) our assurance of God’s faithfulness and His Working, and (5) the roots of distress often being our sin, what is the Christian to do, practically?

First, moderate your expectations. We are not promised that every time we pray or ask for something it will be done as we wish or be done immediately. So when you pray, always remember to say, as the Lord taught us "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done" not my will be done, but God's will be done. But also remember that God is faithful, that He is doing something, even if we don't know what.

Second, throw yourself to the cross. Whenever you feel yourself doubting God's love for you, turn to the cross and what Jesus did for you. It is the objective piece of evidence that the believer can turn to for trust knowing that God loves us.

Third, turn to Biblical Lament. What if I told you that there is a way to bring sorrow and our problems to God by learning from the way the Scriptures teach it? This is what is known as Lament, and it is an under-discussed and under-emphasized topic in the church today but almost 1/3 of all the Psalms are Lament Psalms! Lament is how Christians are to turn to trust in the Lord in hard times, including times of distance. I recommend you read and meditate on the following Psalms, Psalm 10, 13, 44, 77, and 88. Psalm 88 in particular is my favorite Psalm of Lament in the Bible, Dr. Ortlund has a fantastic sermon discussing it which I urge you to listen to:

Digest and mediate on these Psalms, look at what the Psalmist is saying, "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?" (Psalm 13:1). The people of Israel worshipped with these Psalms! Take time to pray these Psalms and take to the Lord your struggles, how the distance makes you feel, and make sure to end it with trusting and turning to the Lord. All these Psalmists in these Psalms of Lament, despite what they are going through, even the darkest Psalm in the whole of the Bible, Psalm 88, turns to the Lord at the end. So remember to bring your struggles to the Lord, but also be trusting in the Lord. If you need further guidance on how to lament properly and Biblically, I recommend a short little book called Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy by Mark Vroegop.

Fourth, turn to others around you. Seek Christian friends, family, mentors, pastors, etc. Walk through your struggles with them. It is written, "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2). It is written, "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near" (Hebrews 10:24-25). The Christian life cannot be walked alone, Christ formed the local church that you may be built up. Lean on others, if you, dear reader, are not currently joined to a church, I urge you to make every effort possible to join yourself to the body of Christ. It is necessary for a Christian to be joined to the local church—not merely out of legal duty, but out of evangelical obedience.

Fifth, if your present distress and feeling of abandonment is caused by sin, make haste to mortify sin in your life (which is your duty anyway)! Quickly, turn back to God, repent, and have your heart sprinkled clean by God’s Grace. Let your bed be filled with sorrow and tears, let your repentance be true and sorrowful, and pray earnestly that God imprints your Heart with His Law that you may come to Hate your sin and Hate what you have done. For those who do not know where to begin with the necessary duty of mortifying sin, please take time to read my summary of St. Owen’s work, The Mortification of Sin, better yet, obtain a copy of the work yourself and meditate on his words.

With that, I believe I shall bring this post to a close. May these words, insofar as they are reflective of Scripture, encourage you and provide you with tools for dealing with periods of distance from God—something which I have certainly struggled with and I am sure that you, dear reader, will struggle with as well. May God be with you always, never forget His Love and Grace.

All Glory be to God.